Counselling
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What does the counsellor do?
My primary aim as a counsellor is to listen. I'll offer you my undivided, non-judgmental, and kind-hearted attention.
I want to create a place where you can come to talk about how you feel, what you think, at your own pace. A place where you can explore your history, the stories that go with that history, whether written by you or about you.
I want to offer you the opportunity to get to know yourself better; to discover and perhaps re-think ideas that you have about yourself, who you are, what you believe you can or can't do. Sometimes this might mean that I ask questions that you don't know the answer to yet, but together we can work on deepening and expanding your connection with and understanding of yourself.
Rather than applying analysis and diagnoses from the outside, my aim is to work hand in hand with you to identify and explore what is troubling you.
Whilst the therapeutic process can be challenging and uncomfortable, I aim to offer a warm, supportive and gently encouraging environment to make sure you don't feel alone in this. I try to be as honest and open as I can about what I think and feel. I'll ask questions and gently challenge you when it seems right. I'll try to challenge in a way that makes it possible for you to take in what I'm saying. Most of all, I'll work hard to support you to find your own answers, to get in touch with and listen to the part of you that does know what to do, who you are and what's important to you.
What does the client do?
Counselling is a collaborative process: We're fellow travellers rather than driver and passenger. I will willingly and gladly support and facilitate you and will be grateful for the privilege of accompanying you on your journey, but it is your journey to take, rather than mine.
Counselling is not something I do to or for you; it is a unique way of being together, different to any other relationship you might experience. The focus is on you and your story and you'll be in charge of which parts of your story we explore and when. Of course, I'll be there to help you out if you get stuck, a bit lost, or you don't know where to begin.
For counselling to be most effective, you'll need to try to be as honest as you can; be willing to say the things that feel difficult; to perhaps explore aspects of yourself that you do not like or feel uncomfortable about. I know this is not easy and it might take some time; there's no need to rush or go faster than you feel comfortable with, trust can take time to develop.
What's most important is that you show up, as you are. There's no need to be any particular way or act or talk in any specific way. Come as you are and we'll go from there.
What can the client talk about?
The honest and simple answer is anything and everything!
I trust you to know what's important to you, to have a feeling for what might be helpful to talk over. Over the years I've had the privilege to be with people as they talk about and work through many, many different experiences, problems and difficulties.
It is always an honour; no story or history, no matter how upsetting, painful or traumatising, has been too much, despite many clients having been told that they are 'too much'.
I am absolutely up for being alongside you as you talk through and make sense of yourself, your history and the world you exist in. I want to do all I can to support you to make sense of yourself and your life, and to work towards making your life easier or better.
I enjoy working with people who are interested in exploring who they are and how they fit into the world; with those who feel lost or stuck; or who aren't living in a way that feels meaningful to them or honours who they are.
You might be questioning who you are, perhaps you have lost touch with your sense of self, you might feel lost or purposeless. You might be questioning the path you have taken in life and the choices you have made, whether in relation to work, relationships, spirituality or philosophy, or more widely how you have lived your life.
Our work together might involve talking about gender identity and/or expression, sexual orientation and/or relationship styles. Whether you are questioning or curious about whether you are gay, bi, pan or straight; asexual, demi, grey or allosexual; trans, non-binary, genderqueer or cis; monogamous or poly; kinky or vanilla; or any of the other glorious and wide-ranging, multitude of possibilities, I'm up for exploring this with you, in an open, compassionate and curious way.
Many of the clients I work with are neurodivergent in some way, whether ADHD, Autistic, Dyslexic, AuDHD, or, again, any of the multitude of other possibilities and combinations. All are welcome and all ways of being are prized and valued equally.
Alongside these explorations the people I work with have talked about anxiety; depression; substance use and addiction; suicide and self-harm; mental distress; experiences of bullying and abuse; and/or grief and loss.
You are welcome to bring any and all of these issues to counselling and I will be ready and willing to support you, as you navigate your thoughts and emotions at a pace that feels safe and manageable.
I believe that talking things over can make life better. Not in a dramatic or showy way, but gradually and subtly over time, counselling can substantially change how you feel about yourself, your history, the people in your life; your life as a whole.
How do I make a start?
Send me an email (sarah-ellan@outlook.com) or click the button below to contact me.
We can arrange an informal chat over the phone or online or you can come to meet me in person, whatever works best for you.
I'll do my best to make it as easy as possible for you: I'll ask you to give me a brief outline of what's bringing you to counselling and what you hope to get out of it (remember, there are no wrong answers!) and I'll share a bit about me and how I work.
After that you can decide if you want to book a session, go away and think it over, or ask for recommendations for other counsellors. Again, we'll go with whatever feels best for you.
If you think you might like to work with me, send me a message and we'll go from there.